Gary Chapman, an American author, and a potent wordsmith has beautifully crafted all his thoughts in this fantabulous book “The 5 love languages”. Chapman is hugely illustrious and noteworthy for his book “The 5 love languages.” you can easily download this book from our website.
Summary of 5 love languages By Gary Chapman
Well while critically analyzing, this book gives the genuine meaning of communicating in any relationship. No matter what relationship you are talking about this is fundamental in knowing what languages you speak, so better to communicate with anyone, not only with your spouse.
First, we can have a quick go-through of the words of affirmations in the first half of this book. Now according to me if we talk about affirmations, we are consciously or subconsciously giving the Universe a very positive vibe that everything that is happening in our lives is happening for its stratum best. Staying affirmative is the biggest challenge as well as the best course of action to stay in a relationship.
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Now once anybody starts to affirm by expressing affection through spoken words, praising, or appreciating they start enjoying their relationship in a psychologically luxurious manner. And by doing such the people who stay in a relationship feels comfortable, accessible, loved, and active participant in exchanging love. We must have heard this very common line, thoughts go where intentions flow, which means that whatever we think comes out to be true and that too depends on the level of frequency we are giving to the universe. It is a very well-known factor in spiritualism that the universe does not understand language.
It only acknowledges only frequency. Therefore the more affirmative frequencies we share with the Universe the more connected we get to the universe.
And therefore people with this particular love language are looking for quality over quantity.
Physical Touch
In a relationship, it is very natural that couples expect some sort of physical intimacy with each other. Sometimes they feel the essence of being loved ones when they have mutual sex with each other. But in this book, the author wishes to portray something more about it. It is okay when physical touch gets into a more intimate manner. But aside from sex, they feel more loved when their partner touches their hands, gives them warm cuddles, and encouraged them in every sphere of life. They simply want to be close to their partner physically.
They also love when people, especially their partners do small, and little things. Though it may seem meaningless in the eyes of ordinary people this kind of act showcases the affections toward each other.
What one should keep in mind is physical touch as a love language is not all about sex, although sex can be an important aspect of a romantic love relationship. Also, in my perspective, sex is a very pure natural process. Because it is the way by which a baby sees the light of the world. Nevertheless, a hug, a shoulder squeeze, a handhold, or even a pat on the back can be an expression of love as well just as meaningful to your partner.
If you are in a non-sexual relationship or if you are unable to have sexual connections with your beloved ones, for some reason, the author advises you to be patient and also stress-free. No matter how self-explanatory it may seem both types of touch, intimate and non-intimate, should and must be used to express love to the partner.
This is to be transparently clear, that learning to express one’s love through intimate touch is possible even if you’re not having sex with your partner. Physical touch, specifically cuddling releases oxytocin, the feel-good hormone that makes you feel like nothing can harm you. This sense was already researched by some behavioural scientists and by some relationship coaches. Here are some ways by which one can express their love and affections through physical touch but set by having sex.
Kissing
You may find that kissing gives you a vibe to continue and end with sex. But no! In this book, kissing has been defined as one of the easiest methods to display love in physical form to the person you loved or adore.
There are many types in which kissing can be categorised mainly, romantic or non-romantic, and thus is prioritized.
Holding hands
Who doesn’t love to see a couple holding hands while having a stroll at the riverside or in any park? One buying ice creams and chocolates to fill the other one’s tummy to the fullest? Now, this is love.
Skin-to-skin touching
Skin-to-skin touching can also be intimate and at the same time non-intimate as well. Pulling your partner’s cheeks can be the sweetest part of a relationship.
That’s what physical touch in The 5 Languages Of Love signifies.
Quality time
The author has mentioned that every couple needs quality time together. For the relationship to grow and develop, spending quality time with each other is indeed very necessary. According to Gary Chapman’s ” Five Love languages,” the centre of togetherness is the quality of time spent with each other. The main thing is the undivided attention that one pays to another. Time is the most expensive gift that one can offer to a partner.
These are some random suggestions, when you are with your partner, you should put down your cell phone, turn off the tablets and focus on them.
If quality time is your partner’s major code, you must not only set aside time for your relationship but also be deliberate about how you will spend that time together pleasantly. Making eye contact, using active listening and communicating skills, setting limits on technology, and focusing on quality and not on quantity.
Acts of Service
According to Gary Chapman when you give acts of service, you give up your time. This non-verbal form of love can be exhausting, frustrating, and time-consuming as well. But there’s an if. If your partner needs then it is worth the effort. If you have recognized that your partner likes to receive acts of service, then you are one step closer to making your partner feel loved and worthy wanted.
Receiving gifts
In 1992, author Gary Chapman revolutionized the way many of us view love to be. We often speak the love languages to our partners that we want to hear. It is an exchange of thoughts, feelings, emotions, ideas, and actions. But yes, giving and receiving gifts is an enjoyable and refreshing part of any relationship.
Thus if these 5 Languages Of Love can be kept in mind, and even more be used practically and habitually in everyday routines in a romantic love relationship, it is inevitable that their loved ones will be theirs forever. And that will be certainly called eternal love.
What are the 5 main ideas discussed in the book?
- Conditioning and films have made us believe that if you fall in love, it is going to last forever.
- However, this is not the case. Once the thrill of “falling in love” has run its course, the reality begins to hit and we start asserting ourselves.
- These days most couples think that if they’ve fallen out of love, there are only two choices left to them. First, to live a life filled with misery with their partners. And second, to part their ways and find contentment elsewhere.
- But there’s always a third and better option. To realise that the “in love” experience is a temporal high, and they can start their journey once again to pursue “real love” together.
- If your partner complains the most about something, it’s the primary love language.
- The most powerful feeling of a relationship is loving your partner even when they aren’t reciprocating.
